When you might feel an irritation or upset when you see someone else (apparently) doing a particular action or (apparently) possessing some attitude that you disapprove of; apply Byron Katie's Inquiry Process for Clarification.
You will then invariably realize, that the meaning of, and purpose for, the entire episode (specifically, your emotional reaction), was really all about yourself. It wasn't that chap you were irritated or upset with, it was yourself. The problem that existed then, wasn't that you were irritated or upset at that chap - it was that you *thought* (ie. believed the story) that you were angry at that chap, when it was really an aspect (or fragment) inside yourself that you were/are irritated or angry at.
Upon clarifying this false story at the external level, take whatever self-responsible action appropriate at the time (eg. this may require self-responsible intervention or involvement at the physical level, if appropriate).
However, there is *another, further, internal step that we wish to speak of today. (And such is the wonderous beauty of Byron Katie's and Hilarion's Clarification process - there is no limit to the number, type and level of the TurnAround and consequent self-responsible pathway that can be applied in any given situation).
Often, and often unconsciously, people self-criticize and self-judge (without Clarification, they may think they're criticizing and judging others, which is only a false story), being angry, condemning, hostile, unaccepting and unloving at aspects of themselves.
This fragmentation and self-denial, self denial-of-acceptance (acceptance that such traits are within themselves), and self denial-of-love (ie. conditional, rather than unconditional love), only leads to deeper and more extensive internal schisms, and fragmentation of self.
When you reject, condemn, or hate some aspect of yourself, ask yourself why. In honesty, you would realize, it is because that part of yourself (ie. when you were/are him/her) is unhappy, is in pain. And because of such pain, you don't want to be this part of you. You am fearful of being this part of you.
(Note that such aspect of any individual's soul accumulates over lifetimes, each time within a lifetime or existence you feel the pain, you put aside more and more of yourself into such an aspect or fragment of pain, but this process is unconscious and unaware to most people).
So you reject, condemn, unlove it (not only the mere trait, but a part of yourself you had falsely associated with the trait!), when in truth, the part of yourself already in such pain, not only doesn't need to be further hated or rejected, in point-of-fact, he/she is the one who needs *love* the most, to be precise, *your own* love. Only love heals.
That rejected part of yourself (rejected because you falsely believed the story that the undesirable trait you explored = the undersirable self, and so you sought to fragment yourself), needs your understanding, acceptance, caring and love.
First is understanding (ie. spiritual wisdom; no more miscommunication / misconception / misunderstanding with yourself), then is acceptance and caring (no more fear and hatred for some aspect of yourself in pain). Finally there can be love (Oneness with yourself, and by extension with your TrueSelf = All Whom U Love = All Beings of All-The-Cosmos = GOD).
Connect back with the other fragments / aspects of yourself that are in pain or unloved. Instead of hating / rejecting your-these-selves whom need your love, communicate with them, be their friend, understand them, care for them, be their lover, hold them close, hug them, love them. They will then shed the illusion of pain, and the beauty/child/love within them will become One back with you. For they *are* you, only that you were in a state of self-denial and refused to acknowledge/accept/love them/you. (It may help if you view *each* of these selves as simultaneously both male-&-female.)
If you are willing to love yourself, then naturally yourself is willing to love you. Realize the important implication this has for your relationship or love with All-Beings in All-The-Cosmos = GOD = Your True Self.
Some people question themselves, Why does God love me? (or why would God want to love me?)
It may take some time (eg. lifetimes) for some people to realize the ultimate answer, that is - Because *you* (are willing to) love God = All-Whom-You-Love = All Beings in All-The-Cosmos = SELF.
See the beauty of it? That is why you do receive God's love (anytime and everytime you're willing to do so). Because it is *your* love. From you (all beings), to you (all beings), for you (ie. Oneness).
Keep on Loving!